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This is no diamond-in-the-rough. It’s not an “oldie but goodie” like Bowman’s well-storied Ram. This ravaged third-gen 4Runner a mean-muggin’ non-fucking-giving beater, and now we have the arduous task of taking care of it. Or, you know, destroying it.

Last night this lifted, bent, ratty Toyota 4Runner appeared at my doorstep like an abandoned baby in a basket. It smells faintly of Mexican food and everything aft of the front seats seem to have been converted to a sleeping/storage area.

At least somebody did put the wheel back where it’s meant to go, here’s the 4Runner as it sits at Truck Yeah HQ right now:

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The whole thing is this cool militaryish green/grey with a Rhinoliner’d hood (why?). The front grille is definitely not straight and neither is the (aftermarket?) trailer-hitch rig. But really, all it needs is a light bar and maybe some funky Plasti-Dip on those wheels. Next stop Wal-Mart, baby.

Okay the real story is the owner (a former colleague) lit off to San Francisco and didn’t feel like paying for parking, I think, so he bequeathed it to Truck Yeah!/Jalopnik for an undefined period of time “as long as we promised to document its destruction.”

I dunno, the whole arrangement’s pretty vague but I’m basically running a rusty orphanage up here and I just couldn’t turn those sweet three-spoke wheels away.

After a brief assessment and lap around the driveway, I’ve concluded it may be too nice to simply suicide… sounds okay, tires are great, and the 3″(?) lift looks professionally executed.

So what are we going to do with this hog? Chase polar bears up Canada way? Mud racin’? Make it my new guest bedroom? Should be a good rig to teach my fellow NY-based bloggers how to off-road this summer… at the very least.

Your turn: Ideas. Go.

Andrew P. Collins is Jalopnik’s off-road and adventure guy. Shoot him an email atandrew@jalopnik.com or hit him up on Twitter @andr3wcollins to talk trucks.